A breakthrough….I hope.

This blog often times is a place for negativity. That’s okay, because the negativity needs to go somewhere, and it’s real. It’s important to me to make this blog as real as possible because if someone is going through a similar experience I need to show them they aren’t alone, and that it isn’t all... Continue Reading →


The day they brought a pole.

I have a bunch of friends who stress me out a lot. I don't think most of them mean to, generally, but they are very unaware of how the things they say are hurtful. They make cruel jokes about other beginners and are shocked that I could be hurt by them because they didn't say... Continue Reading →

One for whining.

I have tried so hard to become an outdoor athlete. It always feels like, between the anxiety and the panic attacks, the eating disorder and the depression, I have a harder time than anyone I have met learning these activities. And now this, another big setback. I was diagnosed with femoral acetabular impingement and a... Continue Reading →

The problem with gapers.

Oh sorry, that was an incorrect title. The correct line should read: the problem with the concept of gapers. A gaper is not a real thing. It's a concept invented by skiers who need to assure themselves and others that they are in fact better than someone else on the mountain. They use this term... Continue Reading →

I’m running for my uncle.

My uncle was an amazing person, and while he had high standards and would not accept less than anyone's best effort, was always kind. Even though I think he didn't always understand why some of my dreams were what they were, he was always supportive and always told me how proud of me he was.... Continue Reading →

Not skiing.

I decided not to ski last year. Take a moment to process your shock, spit out your coffee, and gasp. I decided not to ski last year, and almost everyone I know in the outdoor community was blown away. There were many reasons I chose this, but primarily it centered around this: skiing was no... Continue Reading →


If you've read my posts about Idaho (well... that one's yet to come) and crashing alone, you know that earlier this summer I had my mountain biking confidence shattered. After a 3 hour ride in which I did not stop crying the entire time, and a mellow ride that was more successful, I'm in a... Continue Reading →

The dangers of adventuring with disorders.

  I think it would be downright irresponsible of me to run this blog encouraging everyone to adventure while coping with their various mental illnesses without acknowledging that it can be dangerous. I don’t mean in the way that these activities are inherently dangerous, I mean that the mental illness adds a danger to it.... Continue Reading →

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